1 00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:11,945 In-calls creep me out. 2 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,658 - Thanks for letting me come over. 3 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,360 - It won't be cheap. 4 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,463 This one might be an actual confession, 5 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,665 I really messed up. 6 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,336 An in-call is when they come to you, 7 00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,339 as opposed to an out-call, where you go to them. 8 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,941 An in-call can mean disaster 9 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,609 if the guy takes his time leaving, 10 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:46,280 or gets obsessed, and decides to show up randomly, 11 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,815 which is called a get-the-fuck-out call. 12 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:49,650 - Nice place. 13 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,452 Who's this? 14 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,887 - Look, we could have small talk 15 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,489 where you lie to me about your life, 16 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,824 and I lie to you about who that is in that picture, 17 00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:01,061 or we could go to the bedroom, 18 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,529 where I could pound the shit out of you 19 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:05,132 like the worthless piece of shit that you are. 20 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,303 Let's do the second one. 21 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,678 - There's the mortgage, sir. 22 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:18,512 - Thanks. 23 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,150 - You want to talk about it? 24 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,585 About what? 25 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,854 - Clearly you're steamed about something. 26 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,858 - What do you wanna be when you grow up? 27 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,860 - I'm not in the mood to argue about my job, 28 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,196 actually, I'm never in the mood to argue about my job. 29 00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:37,931 - No, it's my job. 30 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,901 I had an especially shitty day of my shitty especially job. 31 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:42,903 - Sorry. 32 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:44,571 - And you know what, I'm a grown-ass man, 33 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:46,440 and I don't know what I want to be. 34 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,407 - Neither do I. 35 00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:48,875 - How far into your thirties 36 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,377 before it stops being about what you're going to be 37 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,946 and just starts being, that's what you are? 38 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,448 Like, when do you give up 39 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,184 and just accept you're not going to be anything else? 40 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:59,553 I'm a fucking accounts payable specialist, 41 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,088 that's what I am. 42 00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:03,223 For me, the next step, head accounts payable specialist. 43 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:04,558 And then maybe someday, 44 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,360 if I'm super lucky and the right people die, 45 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,095 vice president of accounts payable. 46 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,899 - It's never too late to change things, Andrew. 47 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,570 - I think you're wrong, I think it's awful too late. 48 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,113 - Always eat shirtless, you eat less that way. 49 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,748 - I hardly count this as eating. 50 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,082 - You know that movie 51 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,384 where the popular girl takes the weird girl, 52 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,585 and gives her a makeover, 53 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,387 and teaches her how to be popular too? 54 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,788 - Are you talking about "Clueless"? 55 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,623 - Hmm, haven't heard of it. 56 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,392 Anyway, they should make a movie like that, 57 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,826 but with gay prostitutes. 58 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:43,964 - That looks disgusting. 59 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:48,668 - Good. You'll eat less of it. 60 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,005 - Aren't you gonna ask me what I want? 61 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,940 - I already know what you want. 62 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,275 - Are you sure? 63 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,943 - You want to be pushed around. 64 00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:01,014 That's why you keep coming back, you were born to be abused. 65 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,082 - Yes, sir. 66 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,483 - You love dirty talk. - Yeah. 67 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:05,485 Tell me how nasty I am. 68 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,754 - Don't you fucking tell me what to do, I'll tell you. 69 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:08,622 - Yes, sir. 70 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,123 - Take off my pants. 71 00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,463 - But I do have one request this time. 72 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,533 - You know what kills me? 73 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,001 The longer I stay at this job, 74 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,103 the less chance I have at ever doing anything else. 75 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,472 It's like the skills I've learned here are useless 76 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,940 in the real world. 77 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,675 - Everyone has accounts that need to be paid. 78 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,477 - I mean, after the apocalypse, when they go around 79 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,013 asking all the survivors what their skills are, 80 00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,817 I'll be useless. 81 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,286 - So that's your definition of the real world, 82 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,554 how helpful you'll be 83 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,523 in a post-apocalyptic dystopian future? 84 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,893 - Yes. Everything else is superficial. 85 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,463 - So what skills would make you feel more useful? 86 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,332 - And we're back at the beginning. 87 00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:56,002 What I want to be, I don't know, 88 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:56,837 just 89 00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,739 not this. 90 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:12,352 - Sorry. 91 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,857 - I gotta get ready for my date. 92 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,660 Oh yeah, oh yeah. 93 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:23,563 Yes, sir. Please, sir. 94 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,499 Ah, do it. 95 00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,269 - I'll call you whatever I want, bitch. 96 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,706 - No, for real, I need you to do it. 97 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:36,042 - Look man, I'm sorry, it's just not my thing. 98 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,544 - No, but it's my thing, 99 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,880 and it's why I'm paying you a hell of a lot of money, 100 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:44,217 so I need you to fuck my brains out, treat me like I'm dirt 101 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,586 and call me a. 102 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,522 - For the first time in my life, 103 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,357 I didn't have a clever comeback. 104 00:04:58,765 --> 00:04:59,466 - Question for you. 105 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,867 - All right. 106 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,703 - If you could have any job, skills don't matter, 107 00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:05,739 don't need connections, what would it be? 108 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,742 - I'm not stupid, 109 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,911 that's the same question slightly rephrased. 110 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,078 I don't need to be tricked 111 00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,380 into figuring out what I want to do, 112 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,048 I literally don't know. 113 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,118 - Okay, you're right, that was a stupid question. 114 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:21,254 How about this, you win the lottery, 115 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,823 you're set for life, but not super rich, 116 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,560 you don't have to work, what do you do with your days? 117 00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:29,930 - I don't know, 118 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,264 hang out, I guess. 119 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:33,500 - Hang out? 120 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,068 - I don't know. 121 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,170 - What does that even mean? When is one not hanging out? 122 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,672 - I don't know. 123 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,440 See? I'm useless. 124 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,842 This isn't making me feel any better. 125 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,844 - Okay. I'm sorry. 126 00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:51,084 - It's, it's just not my word to say. 127 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,619 - You got that right, 128 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,120 but I'm not asking you to put it in your regular rotation, 129 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,189 I just need it here, and now. 130 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,023 - Why? 131 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,458 What happened to you? 132 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,994 - Don't look at me like that, don't psychoanalyze me, 133 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,129 I do it for the same reason I hire you, 134 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,166 because it is forbidden and it's sexy. 135 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,802 I don't know why it's part of my fantasy, but it is. 136 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,637 - Look man, it's racist. 137 00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,205 - You called me a worthless faggot. 138 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,640 - We can call each other that. 139 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,875 - X, a couple of minutes ago you called me a bitch. 140 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,310 - So? - It's sexist. 141 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,479 You'll use a gay slur and a slur against women, 142 00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:21,848 but you won't call me a on my dime. 143 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,950 - It's different. 144 00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,186 - So if a person of any other race, 145 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,520 as part of their fantasy, 146 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,856 wanted you to call them a slur about that race, 147 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,858 you would deny them? 148 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,159 - He had me. 149 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:35,195 Oh god, the number of Nazi fantasies 150 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,496 I've been asked to fulfill. 151 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,330 - Well... 152 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,665 - But because I'm black, 153 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,067 you're going to refuse to give me the same service 154 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,670 you would give to a person of any other race. 155 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,175 - Just to make sure I'm crystal clear, 156 00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,544 you are saying that I'd be racist 157 00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,913 if I didn't call you the N word? 158 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,048 If I did this, 159 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,417 was I just contributing to his shit? 160 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,019 I wanted to fuck the shit out of him, 161 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,354 not fuck it deeper into him. 162 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,689 - Well, 163 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:03,556 it's only fit. 164 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,529 - I know what you'd do, 165 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:14,701 If you won the lottery, I know what you'd do with your days. 166 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,670 - Oh yeah, what's that? 167 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:21,207 - Oh, you'd fuck around, play video games, get fat. 168 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,111 But that'd only last for a few weeks, months, 169 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,546 because you get bored, 170 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:29,549 so you'd get out and volunteer, and knowing you, 171 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,885 it'd be for some community organization 172 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:36,456 for fucking LGBTQIAA Youth of color. 173 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,858 And ironically, you'd end up helping these kids 174 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:42,062 figure out the one thing you can't figure out for yourself, 175 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:47,133 what to do with their lives. 176 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,702 - You know, 177 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,203 I hope that's what I would do. 178 00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,240 I like that you think that about me. 179 00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:56,710 - Have a fun date. 180 00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,245 You gonna be out late? 181 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,448 - Very late. Date number five. 182 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,150 - Wow, five-date rule's back in effect. 183 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,585 - Barely. 184 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:09,589 I almost let 'em taste it last weekend. 185 00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:10,590 What about you? 186 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:11,424 - Uh, 187 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,126 working. 188 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,799 - You need to rethink your policy on in-calls 189 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,301 if you wanna maximize your earning potential. 190 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,069 - I told you, I have a roommate. 191 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,105 Yes, I met him. 192 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,307 X's ex, hurray. 193 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,110 Well, book around him. He seems like he gets out. 194 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,312 - Why my place? I just don't see the need. 195 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,247 - Sometimes clients want certain things 196 00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,416 that they can't have their neighbors hearing. 197 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,584 Plus, if they book a hotel room 198 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,119 that's just less money you're getting. 199 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,687 - If they don't want their neighbors to hear their shit, 200 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,855 why would I want mine? 201 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,289 - Because you're like me, 202 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,125 you don't give a shit what your neighbors think. 203 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,493 In fact, 204 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,095 you kind of want them to think weird stuff about you. 205 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:54,100 Oh, yes, ugh, fuck me with your two-headed cock. 206 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:58,338 - Why do I think you already have someone in mind? 207 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:05,612 Oh, yeah, yeah. 208 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,017 Yeah, say it. Say it, sir. 209 00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:12,218 Say it. 210 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,153 - Take it. 211 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:13,987 - Say it. 212 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:19,192 Take it, you fucking. 213 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,027 - Say it again. Say it. 214 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:23,997 Yes I am. 215 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,199 Say it louder. 216 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,367 Ah, yes. 217 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,303 Liberating, isn't it? 218 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:35,308 Fucking. 219 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,180 I wanted you since day one. 220 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:43,349 We almost got it on date four. 221 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,219 - What was that? - Oh shit, it's my roommate. 222 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,689 Yes. 223 00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,257 - The James Dean tap you once mentioned dating, 224 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,559 but it's over now? 225 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:55,829 Very over, as you can tell. 226 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,096 We'll just be really quiet 227 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,500 Sir. Yes. 228 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,601 Fucking take it. 229 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,338 Oh, yes. 230 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,373 - Did he just say? - No. 231 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:10,376 Take it you fucking. 232 00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,513 - Your James Dean sounds more like Paula Deen. 233 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,615 - Marcus, I don't know what that's about. 234 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,418 - I'm sorry, I gotta go. 235 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,953 - Why? 236 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,721 - Because if I stay I'll go to jail for beating his ass. 237 00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,757 Yes! 238 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:32,131 - Oh, yes, yes, yes. 239 00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,569 - Oh God, dude, I came, 240 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,038 don't say that after I got off, man. 241 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:39,806 No.